Sunday 8 December 2013

Fighting Redemption by Kate McCarthy

Reviewed by Donna ~  5 gut wrenching, tear jerking stars!!!
“There are things in life that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we cannot live without but have to let go.”
OMG what has Kate McCarthy done to me, after finishing this book I was a mess. I couldn’t even string a coherent sentence together let alone write a review. I am an emotional person but this one got to me from the very first page. You knew it was going to be bad, you knew it was going to be emotional but you could never have imagined the journey that Kate McCarthy takes you on to get you there. It was genius, pure genius. The curve balls will have you ducking for cover and are total WTF moments, but you will never have seen them coming and that I admire in a book. To be left in tatters at the end, you know the author has done their job, to warrant a message to the author to say “I hate you, but you are a genius and that was brilliant” then you know she has definitely done her job and that is exactly what I did to Kate McCarthy.
The prologue sucks you in, like a vortex, it grips you, tugs at your heart, makes you cry and then just leaves you hanging on for dear life as you carry on reading. You know that there is going to be death, but you don’t know where and you don’t know when, I was just praying that my instincts were wrong and it was just some crazy prologue.
This book is predominantly about 3 people, Jake, Fin and Ryan. Jake and Fin are brother and sister and Ryan is Jake’s best friend. The Tanner’s are Ryan’s surrogate family, they took him under their wing when things got too rough with his own family. Ryan’s parents did not really care that he was no longer around and just let him do what he wanted to do, Ryan not that bothered as he was a victim of horrendous violence at the hands of his father and his mother did nothing about it. He got his family upbringing from the Tanner’s, they showed him love and what a real family was. Jake and Ryan were extremely close and were inseparable. Ryan had always said that he was going to go into the Army as soon as he could, it was his way of dealing with what had happened in his past. He wanted to be the best soldier he could be, Jake being the man he was, decided he was going too.
“Brothers forever, right, Kendall?” Ryan grinned. “Brothers forever, Tanner.”
Before heading off into the army Ryan finally admitted that he loved Fin, he felt he didn’t deserve her, he felt that she needed someone that would be there for her 24/7, he felt that he wasn’t good enough. What is it with guys…they always think that they know best…Fin loved him too and it broke her heart that he left and the fact that during the 6 years he was away he never made contact.  During those 6 years apart Ryan tried to let go of Fin, but he couldn’t. She filled his every thought, despite the training, the fighting, the killing, he could not stop thinking about the girl he left behind.
“Because I grew up and realised that someone as smart as you, with a heart as deep and as wide as the ocean deserved someone who wasn’t broken to love you. I’m still broken, Fin, and I don’t know if that will ever change.”
Then it was time to come home and face the music...
“For six years I fought every day not to think of you, and I lost, because every day you were all I could see.”
This story really needs to be read to be believed, no words I could type could truly do this book justice. The emotional intensity throughout this book is captivating, the way the story ebbs and flows from past to present lets you see into the slow and intense build up of Ryan’s feelings over the years. The protectiveness he has always felt, the possessiveness, the jealousy...all major pointers of his true feelings yet he was blind to it in the beginning, putting it down to a type of “brotherly love.” These two were best friends, they were soul mates, a great foundation for a relationship if only Ryan would let her in. Could he let her in?
“I want to say I love you too, but it doesn’t seem enough.”
I cried a lot during this book, it is extremely intense in places, I felt lived and breathed every word. The chemistry is palpable and oozes off the page, your heart aches, your brain hurts, you cannot help but be emotionally affected by this book. It will scar your heart and leave a permanent imprint.  Never having a relation in the forces I thought I would have struggled to relate to the thoughts and feelings in this book, but such is the talent of Kate McCarthy I felt as if it was my brother and my husband. I had visualised myself in Fin’s shoes, hence the emotional meltdown.
“I’ll love you longer than the stars that live in the sky.”
This book truly is a work of art, I cannot express enough how amazing it really is. I can’t go into details as it will spoil it for you the reader but please YOU MUST READ IT!! If ever you spend a few pennies on a book this week, make this the one, you won’t regret it.

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