Thursday 3 December 2015

Review ~ Letters Written in White by Kathryn Perez

Book Description:

What's worse, living when you want to die or dying while you're fighting to live?

I’m dead.

I’m cold and alone and I’m dead. There’s no air in my lungs. My chest is as cold and hollow as a cave on a snowcapped mountain side. My heart no longer beats there.

Frigid winds whistle through my ribs and the sadness inside me weeps like my favorite tree.

Days ago, I met with death face to face.
The mirror, our meeting place. My two darkened green eyes stared deeply into hers.
I tilted my head to the side. She did too.
It’s time,” I whispered. “It’s time,” she whispered.

And with that I turned away from her, the woman in the mirror who knew all of my secrets and all of my pain. I walked away from her and yet we’d never been closer than we were in that moment.
The inner struggle was over.
No more arguing with the woman in the mirror.
No more arguing with myself.
The choice was made.
She was the victor. Or was I?

That was the day Riah Winter died.

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Our Review:

Reviewed by Donna ~ 4.5 stars

“…don’t take the life you have been given for granted because one day you may very well have to face them…”

This is going to be a tough review to write just as much as this was a book that was tough to read. I love a tear jerker, they are my favourite reads, I love to feel that emotion, to live the story, to empathise and sympathise, I find it cathartic…however, at the end of this book…I JUST FELT NUMB. I sobbed my way through this book…I even had to take breathers. This is not an easy read, it centres around depression and suicide, not so much the living with it, but the repercussions after it, the people that are left behind.

“Depression is like water. It finds all of your cracks and trickles in inch by inch.”

This book is reflective, if you could see into the future and witness first-hand the devastation left behind, would you still make those choices? Was life actually that bad? Are people who and what you perceive them to be? Is life really that bad that the only option is take yourself away from it? As I said, this is hard hitting, it isn’t pretty, but it is realistic. I found this book really depressing, I was waiting for that light in the darkness, that little glimmer of hope but alas it never came, but at the end, my mind was whirring. It made me reflect. All those little things that pee me off suddenly seemed so insignificant.

“This house is my file cabinet, my prison. It’s piled high, full of bitter regrets, hidden pains, angry words and broken promises.”

But this is not one sided, it also made me take a look at the people around me. Are they disguising depression? Are they really as happy as they seem, we can all paint a perfect picture but sometimes we just need to delve that little bit deeper. Take more time for our friends and family, just delve that little bit deeper.

“I’ve traded temporary pain for an eternity of loss. It was all for naught.”

Depression is an evil illness, it is invisible at best and is extremely one-sided. The only person that knows its true capabilities is the sufferer. They see what the mind wants them to see, they feel what the mind wants them to feel even if it is a figment of their mind that has been warped by this debilitating illness.

“Is it possible to love someone so much you hate them?”

Riah was that woman, she had given up, she had tried to pull herself together for her husband and her two kids but she was losing the battle. The depression had taken over, it had taken over her marriage to the extent that she felt it was now loveless and the two kids that she doted on just annoyed her on a daily basis. Just getting up out of bed was an accomplishment on the bad days. Her husband loved her but didn’t understand her, he just saw the outside, he tried to understand but how can you help someone that doesn’t want to be helped?

“I just want the man I love to see me, hear me.”

I loved the authors interpretation of what happens after we die, the journey we take either to heaven, hell or just being stuck in purgatory. What would you have to reflect on before you got your key?

“When I met you, I knew I would love you. When I lost you, I knew I hadn’t loved you enough.”

This is a book that I won’t forget, but I will not read again, even I am not that sadistic. But I will come away from this book looking around me, taking more notice of others, try to be more receptive to the signs but most of all try to make a difference.

“There’s nothing temporary about suicide.”

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